Mourning Monday

This Monday morning I mourn. I woke up with weary heart. Last night another violence attack happened again in Germany. The fourth in the last few weeks.

Germany certainly has criminals and even in such a low rate, crimes do happen. Inevitably, people do kill too in Germany. It’s not like it’s never happened before.

But we have to admit it, though, the last few weeks in Germany is sad, tough and dilematic. The axe attacker in the train from Würzburg last week was an uncompanied and underaged asylum seeker. Last year in 2015, he was merely 16 years-old and alone, leaving his native country, Afghanistan, to seek refugee in Germany. He was cared and lived in a refugee camp until two weeks before his act a foster family took him in, gave him food, clothes and a family environment to live in.

So why did he have to terror and attack people?

Something must be wrong with this kid, huh? Did he suffer of identity crisis, couldn’t he fit in the very different environment of culture in Germany? Had he no friends? Had he difficulties to mingle with the locals? Did people discriminate him because his Arabian look? Because he was a refugee from Afghanistan? These things above, did they lead him to ISIS? Did he seek for acknowledgement? Did he seek for a place where he can belong to, people who look more like him, who have a more similar culture to him? Is that why he hand-drawn the ISIS flag, to feel a little bit of belonging to something — just anything at all?

The man who did the bomb suicide in Ansbach last night, was a grown man of 27 years-old. He was an asylum seeker from Syria, that came to Germany in 2014. However, in a year later the German goverment declined his asylum plea. He wasn’t deported because Syria is still a war zone, so he was allowed to continue living in the provided camp.

This man attemped suicide for several times and was given a psychological treatments. On the night of July 24, though, he tried to enter the music festival area in the small town near his camp. It wasn’t succeded because he didn’t have any tickets. So he blew him self outside the concert place and injured 14 people, he was the only one who died.

I’m trying to understand all of this. I’m trying to understand him, why would he do that? I can never imagine and fully understand how lost, sad and desperate I would be if I was an asylum seeker and my plea was declined. I would surely hardly can see the future. I would think, this must be the end, there would never be a place or chance to live anymore — let alone to live to the fullest, safely and with dignity.

I can get that, but why take people down with you? What’s the need in that?

I’m, honestly, very sad for those people who seemed to be lost and desperately hate them selves including their fellow human. I am sorry that wars ruin their life and future. I am trully sorry that some idiots think war is all cool and okay, because, you know, we need to gain power or some democratic bullsh*t reasons.

I am mourning for the victims of the four violent attacks. I’m very sorry for the family and friend’s lost.

Last but not least, I am mad too. I can’t take this anymore. Hardships in life or evil deeds of other people are not excuses to do violent to other people, let alone kill them. Grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. There’s a German saying that says, “Man ist nicht aus Zucker gebaut“. We are not made of sugar, we’re not whimpy creatures. We can always survive and stand up on our own feet again. In this crazy life there’s always hope and hope nurtures, it keeps you alive.

Hope always sees the future. A better and brighter one.

So please, mankind, let’s  be human to our selves and to each other.

———————

featured images from http://www.pixabay.com

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